This Ball and Chain

I am leaving education. It was definitely hard for me to realize how much this profession drains you. The long hours separate from contract hours with no compensation; the professional development I sign up for because it's "for the kids" with no compensation; the pointless trainings that could be sent through email, the repetitive trainings required every year to take even though I took it the year prior; the lack of respect from students and parents; and administration who praise the same people every year. I have worked so hard in this profession for the last 4 years. I've spent countless hours researching how to make my lessons more authentic. Yes, I've used ideas from other teachers because I only have so many hours in my day to develop one lesson plan. I've spent thousands of dollars and most of the time it goes unused or the kids lose interest. It's time for me to take care of me. It's time for me to be there for the people I truly love in this world.

I know this will be sad for some people, but it will be forgotten within minutes because they will find another poor soul, preferably in her 20s. I do mean "her" because no man considers this under appreciated career with low income. I will be a distant memory and probably in a conversation that will say, "she was very nice and kind, but she didn't do" .....whatever that may be. I don't know. The hard pill for me to swallow is all the money my family and I have placed into this career. I have a beautiful school library, my classroom is cozy, I have state of the art materials for my students. I guess I will look at it as a way to give back to another teacher trying to prove her worth. It's awful to know I don't get reimbursed or compensated for any of it. 

I haven't told anyone at school yet, because I don't want to jinx my future endeavors. My close friends know and they are truly happy for me. But some have replied, "Oh, really? why?" Seriously...you really don't understand. They don't get it, but the rest do. Like most people, they don't care and take teachers for granted without a clue as to what we do every.single.day of our lives.

I know there's no such thing as a perfect job, but the idea of having my evenings, weekends and taking time off without feeling extremely guilty because it affects 20 children and their parents is exhilarating to me. I can spend time with my family. I can save more money (or spend more on my love of fashion). I can take a vacation in the fall without worrying about a sub and writing explicit lesson plans because most substitutes these days have no experience with children or teaching and just want to babysit. I can actually have a real hobby, rather than my job being my hobby. Maybe book club again? Read?! Read a book that has nothing to do with education. There are endless possibilities and FREEDOM from the ball and chain that imprisons me. As the song goes, "take away, take away. Take away this ball and chain. I'm lonely and I'm tired and I can't take any more pain."

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