These are "The Days of our (Teacher) Lives" or "The Real Teachers of somewhere in the United States."

 For the longest time I used to be a fan of the soap opera, Days of Our Lives. I used to look forward to those afternoons where I would plop on my couch with either lunch or a snack to watch the dramatic trials and tribulations of the many ridiculous soap opera characters that were backstabbing their best friend or sneakily planning to sabotage their worst enemy's life.

When I'm at school, sometimes I feel like I'm in a soap opera or on episode of the "Real Housewives of...." also known as what I say to my husband periodically, "The Real Teachers of Perfectville." I do not like drama. I'm not a dramatic person. I'm a problem solver. I also hate conflict because I grew up in a house that was constantly battling conflict or my mother was 99.9% in a mood to be nasty to our family. When I see or hear about "who did what, when, where and how?" I try to turn the other ear. I know sometimes gossip is needed and happens with myself occasionally, but I try to treat it as "venting." My view is I simmer in the situation, I marinade and then I let it all spill out (vent). I believe this is a healthy way to approach any conflict or stressful situation in a work environment. But, this isn't the case in my building.

Teacher #1, whom I'll name "Ms. Karen," because she can be like the typical Karen stereotype and teacher #2 whom I'll name "Ms. Perfect Classroom aka PC." Unfortunately, they are the teachers causing the drama within the team environment of my grade level. Ms. IHC has difficulty accepting new material, learning experiences or if anyone questions her teaching ability. She is a nice lady, but she suffers from passive/aggressive behavior and seems to feel her way is best, because as the old saying goes, "this is what we've always done and it works." 

I like to look at education like many other things that evolve and change such as fashion styles. I'm not going to wear the same acid wash jeans I wore 30 years or tease my bangs with an Aqanet wall as I did so many years ago because "it works," or whatever the excuse may be. Times change, generations change, research changes. Shouldn't we be excited to learn what works best for our students? Isn't that what makes our craft so special? Not according to Ms. Karen and Ms. Perfect Classroom.  The latter believes what she's been doing all these years is "simply perfect" and "my students do this subject in an amazing way, and my students always do this and I'm perfect and amazing. They have excellent test scores.  "Well good for you," which is usually my response. Does she share? Sometimes. Is she personable? No. Is she a collaborator? No. Ms. Icandonowrong looks at collaboration like sending an email with a fun teaching idea. She doesn't have time to sit down and discuss how we can better our teaching for the benefit of the kids because well...she is PERFECT! Ms. PC's other dazzling attribute is she does the mean girl move where I'm nice to your face, but I stab you constantly in the back by talking with other teachers in the building about what a horrible teacher you are and how our team hasn't been perfect since circa 1985. That's a stretch since she's my age, but looks older. 

These soap opera scenarios are just some of the dysfunctional antics that occur in this profession. Is it ego? Is it being female? Is it the constant competition women tend to do with each other..."I'm better than you" mentality. I think all the above. I just sit back and say in my head,

"I see you. I see who you really are."

I used to want everyone to like me, but I've learned. Luckily, I've had many experiences that a lot of these women don't take into consideration. Sometimes I think they look at me as "oh she doesn't know because she's taught different grade levels at different schools." Or sometimes I can't help but think if it's because I'm one of the few "ethnic looking" teachers at this school of a predominantly white staff and school community. I do feel like an outsider because of my experiences and background. I feel like I'm in the dreaded years of high school all over again. 

Like high school, schools can have cliques too. It's the same teachers with the same friends with their own personal biases and not ever including a new teacher like me. Welcome back to high school. There is the feeling of who's the "captain of the football team, class president or head cheerleader." It's the same people who get invited and recognized the most. And to be honest, it makes me feel sad. So, that's why I go in my little burrow of a classroom and write my feelings down about the reality of school environments. It's not the rainbows and unicorns you see from Instagram teacher besties and TikTok videos showcasing pristine classrooms with perfectly groomed teachers and their latest cute outfit from Target. When I recognize my sad emotion of not feeling included, I just let it float away like a cloud and continue to march on in this educational journey. I won't be the drama queen, I won't be the "old timer," I won't be the backstabber. I will be authentic, genuine me who works hard every weekend lesson planning and researching multiple lessons to engage my students. Because I always want to do what's right.

****On a side note, I am working on more self care, which is another post.